Today, apart from the death of a few thousand cells, I am the same as yesterday when I was 59.
Yet it feels different: if I live that long, I’ll get a state pension this decade and I will retire. Mortality feels closer and although fairly active, what I want to do and what my body can do is sometimes very different.
There’s a quote that I haven’t been able to authenticate that goes something like ‘You need a different theology for each decade’ : a way to recognise that you are changing in attitude and outlook.
Many years ago, I remember reading this:-
‘You tell me your beautiful names for God and I’ll tell you mine’
I wasn’t sure what to make of it at the time: surely the way you persuaded people was the opposite- argue with them and prove the error of their ways? Those were different times for me, but I think that reaction came from a place of fear: It’s hard to talk unabashedly about what you love, what moves you and what makes you stand still with wonder. Besides, I am not sure that arguing with someone really changes anyone: mostly I just end up feeling good about my opinions (An earlier version of that sentence had the misspelling ‘feeling god’, which perhaps is closer to the mark...)
Social media has amplified this tendency, but it’s always been there: it takes more courage to talk of your loves and passions than point out someone else’s perceived errors. The tendency of the medium to encourage the loud, the opiniated and the nasty in all of us , tempts us to react back aggressively. I confess that I have given into that desire and sometimes still do. The steorotype of the grumpy old man (or woman) has a germ of truth: those of us of late middle age/old age can be like that: grumpy, moaning that things were better in our days, the younger generation have it easy etc
If I’m searching for a theology for a new decade, I hope it will be one where I’ll freely share my beautiful names for God/life/passions/family etc and not be frightened of doing so.
Just before Christmas, I bought ‘Blue Horses’ by Mary Oliver: her poetry always fills me with joy and wonder, and in the middle of the poem ‘Franz Marc’s Blue Horses’ are these lines:-
‘Maybe our world will grow kinder eventually.
Maybe the desire to make something beautiful
is the piece of God that inside each of us’.
Anyway- happy new decade to me, and if you’re around that decade change age, to you as well. If you are not there, I hope that you’ll tell me your beautiful names: it will give me the courage to do likewise.
Wearily Hopeful 